No One Ever Loved
by i-can-see-the-stars
Summary: Sometimes an apology just doesn't work. Ambrollins, hints of other pairings.
1. Unless You Have To

seth's betrayal has given me feelings.

* * *

There'll be a point where you meet someone, and it's so clear that the two of you, somehow, belong together. As lovers, as friends, as family, or as something entirely different, you just fit. You work, if you understand one another or you're in love or you're partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive.

That's exactly what Dean and Seth had experienced.

They were put together on the fly, and how they meshed so well so quickly will be a mystery, but the outcome of that chemistry is anything but mysterious. Dean made Seth feel like no one else ever had. The older man kept Seth on his toes with his unpredictable antics and just being _him_. They were a cohesive unit, a machine, at least on the outside.

On the inside, behind closed doors, in those dark little corners, was where they really worked. They seemed so dysfunctional that it was hard to believe they were together. But to them, they were organized. Dean had given himself to Seth, he'd laid it all out for the two-toned man, and he still accepted him. Dean wasn't good at trusting people but Seth...

Seth was different.

He'd said it himself, he and Ambrose were cut from the same cloth. Of course, their up-bringings were different, but their goals were one in the same. Seth was okay with Dean's little quirks and imperfections. Seth knew how to handle his off-kilter behavior better than anyone else did. Seth could be trusted with anything Dean had to say. Seth was what Dean needed, but never acknowledged. Seth wasn't just a friend, or a brother, Seth was a tolerant fucking _lover_.

At least, that's what Dean though.

Right up until that first chair shot, Dean really thought Seth was different. And then, of course, he hit Roman, beat the living shit out if Dean, helped Randy beat the living shit out of Roman, and ran off with Evolution.

Just a normal day in the life of Seth Rollins.

Seth really thought it would be easy. He could just beat up the boys, and he'd be good. Of course, he neglected to remember that he fucking _worked_ with them and had to see them on a _daily basis_. Seth was good with Roman, mostly. At least, compared to Dean, he was.

_Dean. _

He was pissed. Seth had hurt him, he'd turned on him, he fucking left without even saying a word. And here Dean was, more confident than ever that Seth was his, for good. He had a hard time believing all of that "everything happens for a reason" shit. But maybe, just maybe, Seth had a reason. For now, Dean had taken to angry pacing since he couldn't find his target. He was mumbling derogatory terms and threatening mass homicide under his breath while Roman sat and shook his head.

"You're gonna wear a hole in the floor."

"Shut the fuck up."

And Roman did. He wasn't gonna get involved in this, it was Seth's fault Ambrose had gone off the deep end. He'd have to thank the two-toned man with a long hug, right around the throat. Roman got up and walked off, opting to deal with Dean's maniacal behavior when his tolerance level wasn't so low. As he was walking, he bumped into the one person he wanted to give that neck-hug to. Maybe he could do it right now...

"Is he alright?" Seth asked, motioning over Roman's shoulder at the pacing man.

"Go ask him." And with that small but resounding statement, Roman was gone, but he didn't hesitate to "accidentally" ram his shoulder into Seth's as he retreated.

Seth stumbled but quickly recovered, walking to the dark little storage corner Dean and Roman had claimed. He hesitated at first. Sure, he'd seen Dean pissed off more times than he can count, but this time his fury was directed at him. Seth took a deep breath and another step closer, and braced himself for the worst.

"Dean?"

Wide eyes were set on him, a fire in those blue depths that Seth had always been scared of.

"Get the fuck away from me."

"Look, Dean-"

"Now, Seth." Dean had never said his name like that; like he was spitting it out, like it tasted bad and he wanted it gone. Seth just shook his head.

"No," He snapped back, Dean's cold gaze fixed on him once more. "I know I did some bad stuff, but-"

"Bad stuff? Bad, oh my god..." Dean was laughing. Actually fucking _laughing_. "You hit us with chairs. You turned your back on us, you left, what the hell do you want?"

"To apologize!" Seth thought Dean's face had softened, but it was more than likely his own mind trying to make things better. "I'm sorry. I know I have no way to explain what I did, but I want you to know that I'm sorry."

Dean took a few slow, swaggering steps forward, and Seth contemplated stepping back, but those thoughts were long gone as Dean's hands pulled him closer by his suit jacket. In an instant, Dean's lips were on his, and Seth actually relaxed as the large hands slipped from his jacket to around his waist. Seth's own arms came up to wrap around Dean's broad shoulders. Dean took full control of the kiss, as if on instinct, his lips working over Seth's fuller ones. As soon as it started, it had ended, and Seth withheld himself from leaning forward and pressing his lips to Dean's once more. Dean closed his eyes and rested his forehead against Seth's. Rollins had his eyes open, and he could clearly see that Dean had some sort of struggle going on.

Then again, when didn't he?

Seth jumped a bit as Dean's blue eyes snapped open, that same angry gaze fixed on him once more.

"You never loved me."

"What?" Seth pushed Dean back by the shoulders, his fingers digging into the tense muscle.

"You never loved me." Dean repeated, his eyes downcast. "And I never loved you."

Seth could feel that familiar hurt. It started in his chest, and it spread out across his entire body in a dull, resounding soreness.

"Don't talk to me ever again." Dean's raspy voice was strained. "Don't look at me. Unless you have to, don't even acknowledge me."

"Dean, don't do this-" Strong arms were sliding away from Seth's waist, the bigger body soon following.

"We were never together, you weren't mine, I wasn't yours..."

"Dean, please-"

"This," Dean motioned between the two of them. "Never happened. Understand?"

All Seth could do was nod as Dean walked away, and he was left alone in that dark corner.


	2. Make An Effort

It's been three weeks, and Dean and Seth still haven't spoken since their run-in at RAW. Outside of work reasons, the two really haven't interacted at all. No nods in the others' direction, not even a passing glance. They were like strangers.

And Dean liked it that way.

It's not that he liked being so cold to Seth, he just didn't think the younger man deserved much more. He'd try his damn hardest to ignore Seth at all costs, but when the one person he didn't completely despise backstage was all buddy-buddy with him, it was awful hard. Roman hadn't forgiven Seth but, like the "mature adult" that Dean had dubbed him, he put the tension aside for professional reasons. Dean was getting real annoyed with Roman being on his ass about he and Seth. In Roman's mind, Dean was just being stubborn about it (but then again, when wasn't he stubborn?), and he needed to forgive Seth already.

"Yeah, well when your boyfriend-that-isn't-really-a-boyfriend beats you with a chair and calls you a psychopath, let me know how you feel." Dean answered, ripping the tape he wrapped his hands with and smoothing it down. "By the way, how are you Hunter?"

If looks could kill, Dean would've been splattered across the wall. It was really no secret that Roman and Hunter had _something_ going on, but Roman never talked about it. Dean would call Roman out on it every chance he got, even if it earned him a cuff on the back of the head every time. Roman left soon after to get to his spot in the crowd, leaving Dean alone. At least, alone with his thoughts.

What of Seth's apology really _was_ sincere? Dean pretty much gave him the kiss of death and a non-negotiable ultimatum as a parting gift. The reasonable human in him would feel pretty disgusted if he really was that much of an ass when Seth was just trying to be apologetic. On the other hand, Seth _did_ beat him with a chair and refer to it as "pretty bad stuff," so maybe Dean's resentful behavior was justifiable. All he knew was that he let possibly the most important person in his life go, and he wasn't sure if he wanted him back.

* * *

Seth was tired. It was like a loop, constantly repeating, never changing. He had a match, he won, got beat up by Dean, and then he left. Although, he couldn't really complain. At least he was interacting with Dean.

Yeah, he still hadn't let the lunatic go. Of course, letting go of some one after almost two years of being together isn't easy, now is it? Orton kept teasing him about how much of a "lovesick teenage girl" he was and that he looked like a lost puppy without Ambrose. If he didn't have to work with the annoying fucker, and actually _like_ him, Seth would've punched him by now. It was endless, Randy's taunting. Another inescapable loop.

"Aw, look, the puppy lost his owner!"

Seth instantly tensed at the deep, teasing voice that was getting louder by the second. "You need something, Orton?" He asked, picking at a loose thread on his glove.

"Just wanted to see if someone had adopted you yet," Randy chuckled, ruffling Seth's hair mockingly. "You still moping over Ambrose?"

"'M not moping." Seth mumbles.

"Yeah, okay," The viper chuckled once more and leaned on the storage box Seth was sitting on.

"I'm not!" Seth snapped. "Just kinda pissed, y'know?"

"At Ambrose?"

"Dude!"

Randy raised his hands in surrender, and Seth just shook his head and walked away, almost slamming his briefcase into a wall. He made a mental note to be a bit safer with it; he didn't feel like paying for the piece of shit. He made a beeline for his locker room, wanting nothing more than to get dressed, get the hotel, and go to sleep. He had his head down, and his hair was falling in his face, so he couldn't really see in front of him. Apparently, the person he collided with wasn't looking, either.

"Sorry about-"

Seth cut himself off, his lips parting as his brown eyes met familiar blue ones. Dean looked a mess - _when didn't_ _he?_ - his hair was disheveled, his jacket was hanging off his injured shoulder, and he had a wadded-up ball of tape in his hand. His face, though, was hard and cold, and void of any emotion.

"It's alright," Dean mutters, brushing past Seth to go wherever he was going.

"Wait," Seth's hand shot out to grab at Dean's wrist, and the Ohioan scrubbed his free hand over his face. "Can we talk?"

"About what?" Dean turned around, his wrist still in Seth's grasp.

"Us," Seth breathed out.

"There is no 'us,' did you forget about that?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about-"

"Seth," Dean rasped, staring at the younger man with tired eyes. "I told you. This doesn't exist, it never did, alright? Just accept that." He yanked his wrist out of Seth's hand, wincing at the excessive shoulder movement.

"But I don't want to!" Seth exclaimed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I don't want this to be over."

"Well it is. Just - just let it go." Dean shook his head and walked away, one again leaving Seth alone.

* * *

"You talked to him? And you blew him off! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Dean sighed and leaned against his door. He briefly considered opening it and throwing himself onto the road, but he opted to live instead. Roman had been going at him for the better part of half an hour, the bigger man chewing him out for what he had done to Seth. Dean didn't see what Roman's problem was. He told Seth the truth, he actually let him speak, and he didn't kiss him this time around (he was still debating whether or not he _wanted_ to).

"I told him the truth, man," Dean answered. "We're over. Done. He wanted to move on? Fine, he's moved. So have I."

"Neither of you have," Dean could see the whitening of Roman's knuckles as his hand tightened around the steering wheel. Roman pushed some stray, curly hairs off his forehead before continuing. "You're both hung up on each other."

"Are not." A hard slap, right on his bad shoulder, and Dean was finally listening. "Alright, damn, keep your fuckin' frying-pan-hands to yourself."

"You love him, alright?" Roman said, the hard tone in his voice now absent. "You love him, and he loves you. You're both hard-asses at heart, and yes, I meant to say that." The Samoan mad stopped whatever snarky comment Dean had planned. "You're still in love. You're just angry. You don't want to let the little asshole go, no matter how much you claim you do. At least he's willing to admit that he doesn't want to let you go."

"What's your point?" Dean hated to admit that Roman's words made a lot of sense, and that they explained almost everything, so he had to put up some kind of front.

"My point is, you don't want to talk to him, that's fine, but if he's making an effort to talk to _you_, why not make an effort to _listen_?"

Dean met Roman's eyes for a second, before the older man looked back at the road ahead of them. Ambrose's head lolled to the side, his temple hitting his window with a dull thud as his eyes closed. He was mapping out a game plan. He didn't want to talk to Seth, no, but Seth wanted to talk to him, so he was gonna wait for the kid to talk. And if he'll be nice, he doesn't know, but he knows for a damn fact that he'll listen. Roman will hear nothing, though.

Fucker wasn't getting that kind of satisfaction.

* * *

another chapter down! i feel pretty bad about not telling you guys that i was continuing this, but at the time i didn't plan to. i might also add something else to 'i need you,' so be on the lookout for that. reviews are welcomed and encouraged!


	3. Make Him Listen

new update! yay!

* * *

"So...what do I have to do again?"

Dean dodged the slap that came his way, and back handed Roman right in the gut. They'd been discussing Dean and Seth's relationship-that-isn't-really-a-relationship for the better part of and hour, both men in desperate need of something to occupy them. Dean, reluctantly, informed Roman that he wasn't going to talk to Seth, but he was going to listen. Roman ate it right up, the apparent pride of finally getting through to Dean rolling off of him in big, arrogant waves. The one thing Dean neglected to mention to Roman was how cold he'd been to Seth the last two times they spoke, and that Seth more than likely wasn't going to be talking to Dean. But Roman didn't need to know that. At least, not yet. He'd find out after Dean's suspicions were either confirmed or denied, right along with Dean himself.

"Wait for him to come to you, idiot. Let him talk, air himself out," Roman rubbed his bare stomach for a second before pulling on his undershirt. "Maybe he'll have something good to say, you never know with him."

"What good would he have to say?" Dean asked, leaning against the wall behind him.

"Maybe he had a good reason for what he did," Roman shrugged. "Or he could just spew a bunch of lovey-dovey garbage and you'll be wrapped around his finger again."

"I was never wrapped around his finger," Dean retorted quickly, pointing a finger in Roman's direction. The finger slowly fell, though, as he remembered how _bad_ he had it for Seth. On second thought, maybe he was wrapped around that kid's finger.

"You were," Roman stated simply. "And he was wrapped around yours. Y'all were kinda made for each other."

_No_.

He'd always said that. Always _fucking_ said that. Dean had been saying that to Seth for months. It came in many different forms, some a lot less innocent than others (see: _this ass is made for me)_, but it always carried the same message: You're perfect for me. Dean felt his blood boil at the thought, but he could feel his heart plummeting to his stomach at the same time. Whether he liked it or not, Dean missed Seth, and he was having a hard time functioning without the two-toned nuisance. He realized just how silent things were without Seth's middle-aged-woman-that-smoked-a-pack-a-day-voice, and how boring things were when he didn't have to stop Seth from accidentally killing himself every five seconds. But Dean was just too damn stubborn to admit that he missed Seth, and that he needed Seth, so he was suffering without him.

"Well," Roman's deep voice dragged Dean out of his thoughts. "I have to go. Remember: don't talk, just listen."

"Alright," Dean nodded as Roman began walking away. He smirked when a sudden thought came to his mind. "Hey, Rome!" Roman turned around, raising an eyebrow in Dean's direction. "Say hi to Hunter for me."

Dean kept that same shit-eating smirk on his face, even when he was nailed in the forehead with a roll of athletic tape.

* * *

"He wants to _what_?"

Roman was kidding. He had to be. There was no way that Dean could've come to such a logical conclusion on his own. No way in hell. Yeah, the guy wasn't a lunatic, but he wasn't the most rational person on the planet, either. It was all black and white with him, one thing or another, you do it or you don't, but nothing like this. Seth fully expected to never speak to Dean, personally, again. He spoke to Seth with a tone of finality that left absolutely no room for argument, so Seth wasn't going to start one.

"He just wants to listen," Roman states, crossing his arms over his chest. He'd wandered into Hunter's office for reasons neither would disclose, and when he saw Seth he instantly brought up the subject of Dean. "He doesn't necessarily want to speak to you, but he wants to listen."

"Dean? Listen? Roman, did I hit you too hard with that chair? I'm sure I didn't get you in the head," Seth raised his hands in surrender when Roman's jaw did that thing - the thing where it looks like he's chewing pebbles or something. "Alright, low blow, I apologize."

"He didn't come up with the idea on his own." Roman says after a few intimidating seconds, and an almost silent chuckle from Hunter - _he was still in there?_

"You did?" Seth asks, a look of unadulterated confusion on his face.

"Bingo," Roman nods. "He doesn't want to talk to you. At all. But you want to talk to him. So, what do you do with the guy that wants to talk and the guy who doesn't?" The bigger man waits for an answer of some sort from Seth, but just gets a shrug in response. "Make the non-talker listen, dumbass."

To say Seth felt like a moron in that moment would be an understatement. He nodded silently, and earned a quiet sigh from Roman.

"Okay, I'm sorry about that," Seth says sheepishly, rubbing his arm. "So...he just wants to listen?"

"Yes."

"So all I have to do is talk?"

"Yes."

"And he'll listen?"

"Good god, Seth, _talk to him_!" Roman exclaims, motioning to the door. "I know how you two feel. Just talk to him, say what you need to. He'll listen, for how long, I don't know, but he'll listen."

Seth all but throws himself from his seat on the couch in Hunter's office, and he just about slams into the door. "I'm trusting you, Reigns." He says, his hand curling around the doorknob.

"You'd be stupid not to, now get out." Roman points to the door once more, and Seth saw Hunter nod in a way that said, 'Get out,' so Seth took his leave. Though he couldn't help but notice how Hunter's hand curled around Roman's wrist, and how the big man seemed to stumble back, but Seth was out the door before he saw anything else.

* * *

Seth was fidgeting so much he looked like he was vibrating. He was just about to go to the ring and cut his promo, and he knew that Ambrose had to be hanging around somewhere. The guy was a recluse in every way, so he tended to drift around in attempts to avoid other people. Seth found it funny, how anti-social Dean was to everyone else, and how open he was with Seth. It started to lose it's humor as Seth realized what that must've meant to Dean; having someone to open up to, and not be judged. Better yet, to open up, not be judged, and then be left by the one person you trusted the most. Seth ran a hand through his hair as the weight of what he had done finally hit him. Dean trusted him, he told Seth things that no one else knew, and Seth betrayed him. Seth knew that, in Dean's eyes, it'd be seen as being taken advantage of, and Seth was seeing it that way, too. Well, now he knew why Dean was behaving the way he was. Why he didn't see that three weeks ago, he didn't know, but what Seth did know was that he'd be discussing that with Ambrose.

Speaking of the devil, Dean came walking up right then, the same awkward swagger in his steps as before. His cocky strut came to an abrupt stop though, as he saw Seth. The two-toned man could see the way Dean seemed to tense, and how the careless look on his face turned hard. It was almost scary how quickly his demeanor changed at just the sight of Seth. Dean made to turn around and walk away, but Seth jogged over and grabbed the older man's forearm.

"Hey, uh..." Seth muttered, feeling the urge to back away as Dean's eyes met his. "Can, um, can we talk? Real quick, like, just right here?"

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but just as he did Seth's music hit, and his mouth quickly closed. He yanked his arm out of Seth's grip and walked away. Seth sighed and watched Dean's retreating form, and turned to go out to the ring. After his segment, he'd talk to Dean. No distractions, no interruptions, just the two of them talking. Well, Seth talking and Dean listening. Just like Roman said.

* * *

another chapter down! if it wasn't obvious enough, i kinda (read: really) ship roman and trips. i've kind of just been putting little hints of roman/hunter in here and there, but i was really thinking of doing a roman/hunter-centric chapter, or maybe a spin-off thing. besides that, look at how well dean and seth are communicating! reviews are welcomed with open arms, like always.


	4. Good Luck With That

its going down, y'all.

* * *

This was happening.

It was happening, and nothing was gonna stop it. They were gonna have the closest thing to a civilized one-sided conversation that they could possibly get, and they were gonna fucking _like_ it.

Seth was nervous. He hadn't had a real conversation with Dean in over four weeks, and he wasn't sure what he was going to say. He had been going over all of the bases that he wanted to cover in his head, but he still didn't feel ready. According to Roman, Dean was aware of the fact that he had to listen. That took a lot of the edge off of it, knowing that Dean had a specific task in mind. But who knows? Maybe Dean'll throw a curve ball at Seth and Roman and go off on Seth. It was a very Dean thing to do, so Seth was going to brace for impact when he did speak with Dean.

Dean, on the other hand, wasn't nearly as worried as Seth. After all, he just had to listen. He didn't exactly want to, but hey, he had the easy job. Roman had made it extremely clear that he didn't want Dean doing something to Seth that would scare and/or hurt the younger man. Dean swore he wouldn't, but Roman was still suspicious of his motives. Since when was Dean so untrustworthy? He happened to think he was very trustworthy, but apparently that didn't go across to Roman.

After his promo, and Dean's match, they'd talk. That's what Seth told himself, and that's what he was going to do at that very moment. He was pacing back and forth in his locker room, waiting patiently for Dean to arrive. He heard a knock at the door, and he almost tripped in his rush to open it. And what he opened the door to was worth the near face-plant. Dean had shed his tank top, but was still clad in his grey leather jacket, and Seth could feel all the air rushing out of him like he was punched in the gut.

"You gonna stare at me all night or are we doing this?"

Seth's eyes snapped up to Dean's face, and he quickly ushered the older man in. "Yeah, yeah, so, y'know..." Seth stuttered, watching as Dean plopped down on a bench. "Roman wanted us to talk."

"That he did," Dean sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

Seth grabbed one of the chairs that were set up and placed it a few feet in front of Dean, sitting down and mimicking the older man's position. "I'm sorry," Seth said softly. "I'm really, really sorry. What I did was a really dick move, and I feel really bad about it. You don't have to forgive me, believe me, I don't want you to, because I don't deserve it at this point."

Dean licked his lips and leaned back against the lockers behind him. "Go on," He said, motioning for Seth to continue.

Seth was a bit taken back by how calm Dean was, but was gonna take it anyways. "Oh, well, okay..." Seth took a deep breath before he continued. "I kinda took advantage of you, in a way. That was pretty shitty of me, too," Seth glanced up at Dean, and was hardly surprised that his relaxed façade was cracking. "You gave me everything you had and I ran with it. I had no right to do that, not to mention it was incredibly fucked up."

"Yeah, it was," Dean muttered, his eyes now staring a hole in the floor.

Seth sighed and sat up straight. "I'm tired of this."

"Of what?" Dean asked, looking back up at Seth.

"Of this," Seth said, an exasperated tone in his voice as he motioned between the two of them. "Talking to each other like we're strangers. Like we haven't been dating for the past two years, like you didn't have your way with me every other night for those two years," Dean tensed, but Seth continued. "I love you, alright? I fucking love you and you...you don't want me anymore." Seth's voice sounded like it wanted to give out. "I betrayed you. I lied to you and I played you and I did the most dastardly thing, but I still love you."

Dean shook his head and looked back down, letting out a dry, humorless chuckle. "If you loved me so much, then why'd you do it?" He asked, his hard blue eyes drifting back up to meet Seth's brown ones.

"Because I was stupid. I still am, but whatever." Seth ran a rough hand through his hair. "I let Hunter get to me, and I shoved you and Roman aside. Roman took it like a champ, and it kinda sucks because he was the one spewing all that brother bullshit, and he moved on like it was nothing."

"That's because he wasn't completely in love with you." Dean bit out. "I wa - am. He has his thing with Hunter, he could let it go 'cause there was nothing for him to hold onto. I was holding onto you, Seth. But _you_ wanted to let _me_ go, so who was _I_ to cling on?"

Seth could feel his heart, and his stomach, aching. The mere thought of letting Dean go made him sick, but when it was true? Even worse. Throw Dean's mocking tone of voice on top, and Seth could've sworn his heart ripped in two. How did he not think of that? _He_ was the one that let Dean go, and now he was trying to get him back. Yet another thing Seth was too dense to realize. He opened his mouth, hell bent on defending himself and trying to rebuild the burn bridge between him and Dean, but Dean was having none of it.

"You wanted to let go," Dean muttered, standing up from the bench and walking to the door. "Keep that in mind. You let go, and now you want to grab back on." He looked over his shoulder at Seth, who had stood up from his chair. "Good luck with that, sweetheart."

And with that, and a resounding slam of the locker room door, Dean was gone.

* * *

Roman was fuming. Of all times to be logical, Dean had to choose _then_?

"I can't fucking believe you."

Dean could sense an extreme case of déjà vu, wanting to fling himself onto the open road while Roman grilled him about his inability to accept his feelings. It wasn't his fault Seth got him worked up, it was Seth's fault for being an attractive asshole. Dean told Seth the truth, and whether or not Seth told him the truth, he didn't know, but at least he had the closure of knowing that he said his piece. Now, if you were to ask Dean if he felt the burning urge to say "I love you, too," you probably wouldn't get an answer.

"I told him what I needed to." Dean shrugged and looked out the window. "Not sure what's so unbeleivable about that."

"Dean, he loves you, you fucking moron!" Roman exclaimed, hitting the steering wheel. "He admitted it, right? Right. You love him too, you're just too proud to admit it, dude."

"Rome, can I ask you something?" Dean asked, looking over at Roman. He took the dismissive wave of the hand as a yes, and he continued. "Why did you forgive him so easily?"

Roman quite obviously tensed and hesitated, but answered. Not with the desired answer, but he said something. "This isn't about me, Dean."

"The fuck it is!" Dean felt the sudden urge to just punch Roman right in the face, but he probably _would_ go rolling onto the freeway. "You're the one that wanted us to talk. You're the one who's been making me feel like shit for not taking to Seth. And when I finally do, you chastise me for that too." Dean shook his head. "He mentioned you, Roman. He said it sucked that you took it so well, when you were the one that said we were brothers."

"Yeah, well, that didn't matter after that first chair shot." Roman shook his own head and glanced at Dean. "Whatever, y'know? He wants to turn on us, who cares." Dean found it odd that Roman was so calm about it, especially considering his temper was almost worse than Dean's.

They sat in a tense silence for what felt like forever, until Dean finally gathered his bearings and tried to talk again. "You didn't answer my question."

"Do I have to?" Roman glanced at Dean once again, and chuckled softly when the smaller man nodded. "I might've heard some things...from some people..."

"You knew?"

"Look, Dean -"

"No, you motherfucker, _you knew_, didn't you? I bet Hunter told you, didn't he?" Dean was raising his voice, and he knew that Roman was getting pissed, but he was too angry to care. "He told you and you didn't say a god damn thing to me."

"I didn't know exactly what was happening, I just knew that _something_ was happening." Roman's voice was low and tense, and Dean could tell that he wanted to start yelling.

"Fucking unbelievable." Dean leaned back in his chair and let out a heavy sigh. "I've been wrong all this time. Hunter isn't Seth's sugar daddy, he's yours!" Roman's jaw was locked, and his back looked like it had a steel rod in it, but Dean wasn't stopping. "Daddy tells his baby boy everything, how cute! Trust is real fucking important in a relationship, isn't it?"

Roman's voice came out so quietly, yet it sounded more vicious than ever. Dean almost didn't hear it, and he wished that he never did. "At least I can keep a relationship."

The rest on the drive was spent in an uncomfortable silence, and Dean unlocked his door, just in case.

* * *

dean's made himself quite the bed, huh? and roman, wow, talk about a swerve. in all seriousness, thank you guys! i got on this site for fun, and i never imagined any of my work being as popular as it is, so thank you! as always, reviews are welcomed with open arms!


	5. Keep Quiet

sorry for the late update. upside: this chapter's a little longer than usual. y'all earned it!

* * *

"I chewed him out for it...didn't work out too well."

Seth groaned and rubbed his temples with the tips of his fingers. He made a mental note to never let Roman speak to Dean, ever. An angry Dean was one thing, Seth could work with that, but he'd be lucky if he could get a word in with an angry Dean who's been thoroughly scolded. Maybe Roman meant well, maybe he didn't. All Seth really cared about was the fact that Dean's mood had worsened, and all his plans had to be re-worked. The surprise blowjob that Seth had confidently assumed would work wasn't sounding too good anymore (at least, not for his physical well-being; jury was still out on if it was worth it). Seth shook his head and looked back up at Roman, the bigger man leaning against a wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

"You know that going off on him doesn't change his mind, Roman," Roman nodded and shrugged, his mouth opening as if to say something, but Seth beat him to it. "He isn't a child. He acts like one, but he isn't." Seth said, leaning against the wall opposite of Roman. "My chances of making things better are all fucked up now."

"Because of me." Roman muttered, earning a nod from Seth. "So I should just butt out now, huh?" Roman's tone was deceivingly careless, and Seth was wondering if the older man was messing with him.

"No," Seth said flatly. "You did convince him to talk to me. Did it work out well? Not really. Did I get stuff off my chest, though? Yes. Did I learn some things from him that I didn't know before? Absolutely." Seth pointed at Roman. "My man, you are a Dean whisperer if I've ever seen one. I could barely get him to listen that well when we were together." And it was true.

"Oh, trust me, he listened," The big man seemed to shudder slightly, the disgusted face to end all disgusted faces making it's presence known (and making Seth laugh). "Just not to the right things." Roman ran a hand through his still-dry hair. "Is Dean-whisperer my official title now?"

"Yes."

"I think I can work with that." Roman chuckled. He looked at Seth, the younger man's eyes trained on the ground while a small smile played on his lips.

It was impressive just how patient Seth was willing to be, not only with Dean, but with him. At first Roman wasn't so forgiving; warnings don't always soften the blow. Seth took his time, he waited for Roman to forgive him, if ever, and that gave the older man even more of a reason to forgive Seth. It was corny, and cliché, and Roman wanted to punch himself if the face every time he even _thought_ about it, but him and Seth really _were_ best friends. Bonds like the one they had didn't come around every day. Except, you know, with Seth and Dean. It wasn't the same, not by a long shot, but it was still a damn good bond between two people. Roman didn't even want to _think _about doing the things that Dean so kindly (and vividly) described with Seth. He'd leave that to the lunatic himself.

Roman's own eyes drifted down to the floor before looking back up at Seth, who was now looking at him. "I told him." He stated simply.

"Told him what?" Seth asked, raising an eyebrow. He had suspicions, and damn, if they were right he'd hate to be Roman, for more reasons than one.

Roman ran his tongue along his bottom lip before continuing. "That I knew." He took Seth's parted lips and widened eyes as a sign of surprise, and went on. "He kinda figured it out for himself, I guess. But he knows that I knew."

"You fucking moron!" Seth exclaimed, pushing himself off the wall and walking towards Roman. "Do you know what he's gonna do now? All of my chances, every single one, gone!" Seth started pacing, his hands perpetually glued to his hair. "He's gonna think I told you, and not him. How...how the fuck did you even know in the first place? Nobody back here was talking about it, hell, nobody _knew_! It was me, Randy, and Hunter, that's -" Seth stopped mid-sentence, and mid-pace, right in front of Roman. "Hunter."_  
_

Roman sighed heavily, his hands stuffed into his pockets. It took a few moments for him to say anything, and the conflicted look on Roman's face made every passing second more nerve-wracking for Seth. "Yeah." He took in Seth's furrowed brows, his pursed lips, and shrugged. "He told me. Sorry."

Seth wanted to go off. He wanted to yell at Roman till he face was blue and his vocal chords were mangled but he _couldn't_. Roman's audacity, Dean's inevitable blow-up, everything, had muted him. At least, muted his ability to speak like a normal human. "Wait, how...?" Seth couldn't muster up much else.

"Promise me you won't say anything, to anyone," Roman's voice had taken on a serious tone, the one he used when he was cutting a promo and trying to intimidate people, and Seth nodded dumbly. "Me and Hunter, we're, uh...we're something."

"Something?" Seth was - mostly - at a loss for words. Roman and Hunter? Of all people, _Hunter_?

"Something," Roman placed a hand on Seth's shoulder and leaned in a bit closer, his voice lowering. "He told me, and I swore I wouldn't tell anyone, but Dean deserved to know, even if by accident. Hunter doesn't know I let Dean know, so don't squeal," Roman pointed a finger at Seth with his free hand. "You won't say a word. Got it?"

Seth nodded once more, and Roman ruffled his hair before walking away. As Seth finally gathered his bearings, he formed one question. "Roman?" He called out, the bigger man turning and looking at him. "Is he big? Y'know..." Seth motioned around his crotch, and Roman flicked him off.

* * *

Bastard.

No-good, lying _bastard_.

That's all Roman was. That's all Seth was. That's all everyone was, because Dean said so. Why couldn't he know? Apparently, Seth didn't think Dean needed to know. No, it's all fine and dandy to leave your fucking boyfriend in the dark while you go off and do some sneaky, underhanded shit, but _please_ tell your 'best friend' that's too busy getting fucked by the boss to care. Over the two year span that they were together, Dean and Seth toled each other everything. Whether or not they were supposed to know, or need to know. If it had to be said it'd be said, and that's why Roman stopped talking to them for a little while. Then they let him in on the loop, and Dean told Roman about he and Seth's sex life, and the big man distanced himself from Dean for about a month. It almost brought a smile to Dean's face to think about all those happy, docile little moments, and he went back to thinking about them keeping secrets from him.

There had to be a cause. Some kind of underlying reason for why he wasn't let in. It could've been to preserve what little sanity Dean had left, if even, or maybe to keep Seth's pretty face intact after Dean got angry. See, in no way is Seth betraying Dean and Roman acceptable, but if Dean had been told, he and Seth would probably be together, and his resolve to keep his hands off of Seth - violently - wouldn't be diminishing.

Dean lolled his head back against the rental car and closed his eyes. He didn't want to think anymore. He wanted to fall asleep in the car, wake up in some random hotel bed with - a preferably naked - Seth in his arms, and for this whole ordeal to just be a fucked-up dream. But, evidently, that wasn't happening. He scrubbed an hand over his slightly scruffy face, and opened his eyes to see Roman walking toward the car. The big man unlocked the car and Dean turned around to open the trunk, but Roman's hand on his arm stopped him from doing so.

"Just get in the car, I'll get this," Roman's voice was quiet, _soft_ almost, and Dean gave him a wary look. "You look tired as hell. Just get in the car and go to sleep man." Roman patted his good shoulder before opening the trunk.

Dean was too tired to fight back. He nodded and walked to the front, getting in the passenger seat. After a couple of minutes, he heard the trunk being closed, and he saw Roman getting into the car not long after. Th older man looked surprisingly relaxed, considering how hectic their schedule had been. They'd just gotten back from Japan, and they were all a little jet-lagged, so seeing Roman all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed was odd, to say the least.

_Probably got some from Hunter after the show_, Dean thought, a snort of a laugh escaping as he shook his head. Roman gave him a brief, puzzled look, and Dean vaguely realized they were driving.

"The hell was that?" Roman asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing at Dean again.

"Nothin'." Dean mumbled, slouching down in his seat and pulling his hat down over his eyes. The less Roman knew, the better.

Roman looked like he wanted to say something, but gave a small, one-shoulder shrug instead. It was a few silent minutes before Roman said anything, knowing by how the younger man was sitting that Dean wasn't asleep. "I talked to Seth today."

"When don't you talk to Seth?" Dean bit out, not moving in any way. Obviously he didn't feel like talking, but that wasn't stopping Roman.

"He said that he learned some stuff from you when y'all talked," Roman could see Dean shifting slightly out of the corner of his eye. "He said that I fucked up his chances of making things better - don't ask." Roman cut Dean off as the Ohioan's finger began to raise. "But, that got me thinking. That's pretty much him implying that he wants to make things better for you two. I also told him something I probably shouldn't have, but the only thing he was worried about was you."

Dean pushed his hat off his face and looked at Roman. He didn't want to talk to him, he really didn't, but really didn't have a choice. "Is that all you two do? Talk about me?" Dean chuckled lightly and shook his head. "But really, Roman, I know. He fucking confessed his love to me when we talked, and I feel like shit because I _want_ to give him that back, but I _can't_, y'know?" He turned his head and looked out his window, the night outside almost completely dark besides a few streetlights and the headlights of passing cars. "We worked. Real fuckin' well, too, man. Kid's the fuckin' best. But I don't know if I can forgive him that easy. I've kinda figured it out that he probably told you about his little thing. When I went off on you about Hunter, I didn't mean all that sugar daddy shit. I just needed someone to blame, and now I know that it isn't you _or_ Hunter." Dean took his hat off and ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, Seth told you what he was doing but he didn't tell me, who does that?"

"Not him," And _fuck_ if Dean didn't almost break his neck to look at Roman. Apparently Roman noticed, because he glanced over at Dean with a small smile. "Hunter actually _did_ tell me, so maybe the sugar daddy comment was earned," Roman wasn't surprised to see that Dean had almost the exact same face Seth did when he told him. "Hunter and I?" A nod from Dean. "Yeah. Keep quiet about that, though." Another nod.

"Yeah, alright, that makes things a little better..." Dean nodded and looked back out his window. "But he still did what he did. Whether or not he told you doesn't change the fact that he pretty much manipulated me, and I don't think he deserves me if he was willing to fuck with me in the first place."

Roman took his eyes off the road for a much longer time than necessary, just to look at Dean. The younger man gave him a, _'what are you looking at?'_ look, and Roman shrugged before fixing his eyes on the road once more. "You know, for a lunatic, you're pretty damn smart."

Dean smiled and scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, well, I have a lot more depth than people give me credit for." He seemed to laugh, his shoulders moving as if he was, but Roman heard nothing. "I'm like you, except instead of looks I have a bad personality." Dean started to laugh, real, genuine laughs, Roman joining soon after, and for the first time in a long time, Dean actually forgot about his problems and let himself laugh.

* * *

again, sorry for the late update! i should've considered how difficult having two chapter stories (and on in the works) would be. i know it's a bit late to say this, but my updates will be irregular. you night get this story one day, a few days later you might get They Don't Know You Like I Do, AND i have a roman/hunter spinoff just itching to be published, so when i update will be uncertain, but what WILL be certain is that i am updating, no matter what! reviews are welcomed with open arms!


	6. Not Right Now

Roman and Dean finally arrived at the arena, all of the previous tension between them mostly gone. Now that Dean knew the truth about Seth and his decisions (at least, pertaining to Roman), there was a lot of weight off his shoulders, and surprisingly, a lot less anger towards the younger man. There was still no way in hell he was forgiving Seth. Roman laughed when Dean proclaimed that; he wasn't gonna stay away for that long. Not only was he still in love with the little bastard (he vehemently denied it, but Dean still loved Seth), but Dean was an insatiable human being. Unless he decided bend over for Roman, he wasn't getting anything. You can only go so long without getting off on something, and Roman knew that Seth had pretty much ruined sex for Dean, with anybody that isn't Seth, that is. He'd go running back in no time.

"Dude, like, what's the point, though?"

"I though we established this, it's cool as fuck."

At some point, they had gotten to discussing work; ring work, mic work, _work_. Dean had praised Roman at first, giving the older man props on how well he had evolved into a singles competitor. Then he brought up the Superman Punch.

"It's stupid, the whole cock-up your fist and punch the fuckin' ground - well, that's kinda cool - but it a little much, y'know?" Dean had a teasing tone in his voice, a small smile on his face as Roman chuckled and shook his head. "You already got your roar. That shit's awesome as hell, by the way."

"Why do you think I do it?" If Dean had a free hand, Roman would've gotten slugged in the arm for the cocky-ass smirk on his face. "But really, it's cool. Adds to the show. It's good entertainment."

"Entertainment?"

"Entertainment, my dear friend."

They shared another chuckle at the entered the arena, finding out from some backstage worker that they were sharing a locker room. Roman went the opposite way, though - told Dean some lie about meeting up with his cousins. Dean didn't understand; he did just tell Dean that him and Hunter were fucking around, right? Why couldn't he just tell him that he was meeting up with boss man? Dean brushed it off and walked towards where he and Roman's locker room was. Once inside, he tossed his backpack haphazardly across the room, placing his other luggage somewhere near his bag. He reached for one of his bags to get out his gear, seeing as him and Roman had gotten there late, deciding just to change into them then. Just as he grabbed his bag, he was grabbed by the arm and roughly pushed against a wall. His first instinct was to swing, but when a pair of soft, familiar lips were pressed against his, the fight disappeared. Dean placed his hands on Seth's waist after a few more seconds of desperate, almost sloppy kissing, and gently pushed the younger man away.

"Dean," Seth all but whimpered, pressing himself against Dean once more, this time going to work on his neck.

"Seth," Dean sighed, his grip on Seth's hips tightening as he pushed him away once more. "Why are you in here? Who let you in?"

"Connections, motherfucker," Seth chuckled, struggling against Dean's hold. "C'mon...just lemme kiss you a few more times..." The two-toned man trailed off, wriggling out of Dean's grasp and attacking his neck with his lips.

"No, no, this isn't happening." Dean states simply, earning nothing but a chuckle and a harsh bite on the neck. "You fucker..." Dean trails off, his hands tightening on Seth's hips again and spinning them around, pinning the younger man against the wall. "Stop trying to get yourself laid, you stupid little slut."

Seth, being the...whatever-the-fuck he is ('stupid little slut' sounded good to Dean; rolled right off the tongue), just whined and looked Dean right in the eye, those fucking doe eyes of his driving Dean to insanity - well, whatever level of insanity he wasn't already at. When Seth saw that Dean wasn't budging, though, he gave up the wriggling and let his face relax into a neutral position. "That ain't gonna work either, huh?"

"As fantastic as it sounds to fuck the holy hell out of you right now, I don't think you deserve it." Dean let go of Seth and took a few steps back, somehow knowing exactly where the bench was and sitting on it.

"Awesome." Seth said flatly, staring at the ground. "I just wanted to make things better."

"That wasn't gonna make things better, Seth," Dean sounded like a parent. He sounded like he was scolding his second-grader for doing something bad in school. Seth hated it. "If anything, it'd make things worse because I wouldn't look at you the same way. All I would see would be some needy whore that wants to be satisfied. I don't think you want me to think of you as that." Seth shook his head. "See? Now, while having my way with you would be fun, it'd be a bad decision."

"Why can't it just be, like, goodbye sex, or something?" Seth asks, crossing his arms over his chest. "It doesn't have to mean anything."

"It always does, Seth. It's you. And me." Dean sighed and ran a hand through his hair, leaning back against the lockers behind him. "Why does this even matter anyways? Why are you so dead-set on doing everything you can to get back with me?"

"Because I still love you!" Seth exclaims, walking towards Dean. "I really, really love you. And, yeah, _I_ made the decision to leave. _I_ made the decision to listen to Hunter. _I_ left you in the dust. But guess what?" Dean raised an eyebrow and Seth crouched down in front of him. "_I_ still love the hell out of you. My stupidity got the best of me, yeah, but I haven't lost any feelings for you." Dean sat, unmoving, and Seth felt his heart drop. "When did you stop loving me?"

Dean's eyes snapped to Seth's downcast ones, his hand roughly tilting the younger man's chin up so that his frightened brown eyes were looking right at Dean's cold blue ones. "When did I say I stopped loving you?" And there it was. "I love you. Alright? I love you, Seth Rollins, but you lost your chance. You screwed yourself out of this - me - so I don't see your point in getting me back."

"Maybe I've finally realized that I can't function without you." Seth says, his face still in Dean's hand. "You not being around is the worst thing that could've possibly happened at this time. Being as...quirky as you are, you're my rock. I'm not doing that great. I went from being the prince to the middle child and it sucks." Seth lets his head fall onto Dean's leg, and for some reason, Dean didn't move.

"Prince?"

"Mhm."

"You thought I treated you like a prince, huh?" Dean lifted his hand, something inside of him telling him to run his fingers through Seth's hair, bit he placed his hand back down.

"Yep." Seth was now kneeling in front of Dean, his chin resting on one of Dean's knees while his hand rested on the other. "You gave me everything I wanted, you treated me well, and there was that time when you would call me princess-"

"Yeah, alright, I fucking spolied you," Dean's tone was serious, but he had a small smile on his face as he remembered all those little moments. "...oh. _Oh_. Okay, I see what you're doing." Dean stood up, and Seth shuffled backwards before standing up himself. "You're making me remember all of the good stuff we did so I'll go back to you."

"That's not what I'm doing, Dean."

"Yes it is," Dean snapped. "Don't try to tell me it's not." He let out a big breath before chuckling and shaking his head. Seth found it almost scary that _he'd_ been the one to bring Dean to wherever he was. "Just get out."

Seth didn't fight. It wouldn't work anyways. He just nodded and walked towards the door, and without a final word or glance, he left the room.

* * *

"At least you admitted your feelings."

Dean groaned and buried his face in his hands. Since when did _Roman fucking Reigns _of all people give a shit about feelings? Big man was going soft.

"I don't know what's fucking going on, dude." Dean mumbled, leaning forward and resting his elbows in his knees. "One second I wanna kiss him until I die and the next I want him to get away from me."

"You're denying how you feel," Roman said, fiddling with his wrist guards. "At first, you were just angry. You never stopped loving the kid. Now you want him back, and you're rejecting it." Roman stood in front of Dean and smacked his leg, prompting the younger man to look up at him from where he was sitting. "I know I'm gonna get punched for this but _you are afraid._ You're afraid of Seth."

Dean wanted to talk. He wanted to give Roman that punch. But he couldn't. He didn't want to admit it, but Dean knew that Roman was right, to an extent. Pushing Seth away was more of a subconscious defense; Dean wasn't doing it under his own power. Whether or not it was out of fear, he didn't know, but he did know that he'd been keeping his feelings for Seth at bay.

Dean _hated_ it when Roman made him think. 'Soulful but intimidating' was just a filler in an interview, but Roman was starting to potray that more and more.

"It's not that in afraid of Seth as a whole," Dean begins, picking at the athletic tape wrapped around his hands. "I'm afraid of what he'll do." If the look on Roman's face was anything to go by, Dean would say he'd surprised the bigger man. The will do defend himself was gone; Dean didn't feel like fighting. Seth had fucked him up bad. "But that doesn't mean I dont want him back."

Roman nodded. "So you want him back?"

"No," Dean said quickly. "I mean, like, I guess I do, but like, not right now."

"You wanna wait?"

"Is that what it sounds like?"

"Vaguely."

Dean sighed and looked at the ground. Why did this shit have to be so complicated? Either he wanted Seth or he didn't. It was that simple. He was gonna kick Seth's ass for making his head hurt from all or this. An apology blowjob wouldn't hurt, either...

"Just take your time, man," Roman patted Dean on the shoulder. "You'll know soon enough."

Dean didn't wanna know. He just wanted things to be easy.

* * *

dean's conflicted, seth's desperate, and roman's suddenly a love expert. isnt that fun? this is such an awful chapter, i apologize.


	7. Step One

Seth has never been a hateful person. He finds that it's a useless notion, and that he can relay his feelings in different ways than saying he hated something. But this, this horrible, vile, self-inflicted Dean-less pit, he hated it. Life without Dean was painful. Seth didn't mean to be cliché, but it felt like there was a hole somewhere inside of him that Dean had always filled (no pun intended), and now that he was gone, Seth felt almost _empty_. Dean meant more than he probably should've to Seth, but Seth didn't care. If only that had been floating through his mind as he made that fucking deal with Hunter.

As much as Seth didn't want to admit it, Hunter was right. The Shield was going to disband, one way or another, so there was no point in delaying the inevitable. Had they split on their own accord, though, they'd all be on better terms. Things had been getting better between the three of them, thankfully. Roman and Dean were finally getting along (if only they'd gotten along that well when The Shield _was_ a thing), Seth and Roman had returned to their usual brotherly bonding (that Seth was forever thankful for, but he'd never let Roman know it). Hell, even Dean and Seth were getting along a little better. Yeah, they weren't back to normal, but Seth was gonna take what he could get.

"Rollins," The deep voice boomed out his name, his back straightening and his body tensing as the larger man walked up. He didn't mean for all of that to happen; it was natural instinct at this point. Came to him as easy as breathing. "What the _fuck_ have you done?"

Seth almost cowered away from the dark look Roman had fixed on him as the walked up. "What do you mean?" He asks almost sheepishly, watching as Roman stood right in front of him and crossed his arms, and _wow_ did he look angry.

"Dean," _Oh_. "I don't know what his deal is, but I do know he talked to you before he started acting this way. He's fucked up Seth, more so than usual, and I don't like seeing him like this."

"And you think I do?" Seth asked incredulously, leaning forward a bit more from where he was sitting on an equipment box.

"That's not what I'm saying," Roman's voice had lowered, and Seth considered backing away again. "All I'm saying is that, if you can put him in the place he is now, you can get him out of it. So I suggest you do it before I have to kick your ass and drag your corpse to him."

"You'd do that?"

"If it meant making him get better, then hell yeah," Roman seemed dead serious. "He hasn't left yet, I gotta keep him around."

_Ouch_. "Rome..." He hadn't said that. Not yet, at least. Roman had never brought up Seth leaving him. He'd always kept the attention on Dean, and he never communicated how he felt throughout all of this. "That's why you've been helping us."

Roman nodded, a pathetic smile fighting it way onto his lips. "You both are, don't punch me, my best friends. Its corny, I know, but it's true. I'm helping you guys because I know you can't help yourselves," He paused and looked down at the groud. "You, uh, you did some stuff, man," Grey eyes were locked onto Seth's browns once more. "You willingly turned your back on us. Don't get me wrong, kid, I love the fuck out of you, but what reasons do I have to believe that you won't do it again?"

"You know that I wouldn't do that, not again-"

"Maybe," The smile was gone, now replaced by that disgusted sort of scowl that Roman wore well. "I want the best for Dean because he stayed. He didn't leave. You did. I'm doing this for him, you're just benefitting from it."

Roman began to walk away, that painfully resounding statement pounding away in Seth's mind. His actions moved faster than his mind, though, and he failed to stop himself from shooting off the equiptment box and grabbing Roman's arm before he could walk away. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't walk away while we're talking."

"We aren't talking anymore."

"Just shut the fuck up and listen to me," Seth snapped, looking Roman dead in the eye. "I love him. I really fucking love that bastard and if I don't seem capable of getting him back on my own, then that's a damn shame, but I'm not going to stop trying. I hurt both of you. Do I regret it? Yes. Can I change what's happened? No, but I can fix the damage," Seth took a deep breath before continuing. "You need to help me, though."

Roman nodded and patted Seth's shoulder. "Alright, I will," He turned and began walking away, but Seth called him back.

"Rome, wait," Roman turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Next time you see him, tell him I love him, alright?"

"Step one?"

"Step one."

* * *

_Pace. Stop. Phone. Pace. Stop. Phone._

He wanted to call Seth. No, fuck that, he _needed_ to. He needed to hear that voice say "_I love you_." He needed to talk to Seth, one on one, without looking at his face and feeling the urge to kiss him. Dean thought if it as extending an olive branch, making an effort to interact with Seth. Only problem was, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

It wasn't fear holding him back. Truthfully, he wasn't really sure what it actually was, but he knew it wasn't fear. Dean stopped pacing and unlocked his phone, looking down at the one contact he'd been avoiding. Seth was still on his favorite contacts list (only one, actually, _and_ he put himself there), so all he had to do was press the name. Yet, like the other thirty times that night, he locked his phone and stuck it back in his pocket.

Why did Seth have to have such a hold on him? Why couldn't he just let Dean go like Dean had tried to let him go? Dean was aware that he meant a lot to Seth. The younger man had made it impeccably clear to him that he would do anything for Dean, but apparently that didn't include telling him that he was gonna beat him up and leave. Dean briefly thought back to his conversation with Roman the previous week. He really fucking hated admitting that Roman was right, but at this point, he really didn't care. Maybe Dean really was afraid of Seth. Maybe he really wasn't allowing himself to admit his feelings. He was allowing himself to speak to Seth, so maybe that was a step in the right direction.

Dean stopped pacing and sat down on the hotel bed, his phone feeling heavy in his hand._ Now or never,_ he thought before unlocking the phone and pressing the one button he'd been avoiding all night. He put the phone to his ear and listened as it rang twice before that all-to-familiar voice answered.

_"Dean?"_

"Hey."

* * *

phone calls! feelings! cliffhangers! oh my! this is the shortest update yet, mainly because i hadn't updated in a while and i was in a rush. reviews are welcome with open arms!

(on a different note: i'm making another story with song-based one-shots, so if there's a pairing and/or song that you'd like to see a one-shot for, leave a review or message me what you'd like to see!)


	8. All That Mattered

_Dean stopped pacing and sat down on the hotel bed, his phone feeling heavy in his hand. _Now or never,_ he thought before unlocking the phone and pressing the one button he'd been avoiding all night. He put the phone to his ear and listened as it rang twice before that all-to-familiar voice answered._

"Dean?"

_"Hey."_

* * *

"Hey..." Seth's tone was slow and cautious, and Dean didn't blame him. "What, uh, what's up, is something wrong?"

_Yeah, everything_. "No, no, I just...uh, wanted to talk to you."

"Alright," Seth was silent for a few moments. "About what?"

Dean hadn't really thought that far. He could probably get away with saying, 'just keep telling me that you love me,' seeing as Seth was so adamant about letting Dean know how he felt. "Nothing, really," He was gonna stop there. "Just wanted to hear your voice, really." He didn't.

"I take it you called me late so you could hear my tired voice?" Seth asks, and Dean just knows that there's a smirk of those lips of his.

"It was always my favorite," Dean was expecting an uncomfortable silence, but instead he got a deep, raspy chuckle that had no business doing the things it did to him.

"Ah, so that's why it always got you going," Seth chuckles again. "The truth is spoken."

"Yeah, yeah, but lets not forget how you had the hots for my voice."

"I find it insulting that you think I _don't_ have the hots for your voice anymore."

"So you do?"

"I never said that," Seth teases. "Hey, so, I doubt this is the time for this-"

"Seth," Dean warned, already knowing what the younger man was going to say. He wasn't sure he could handle it, though; he'd already heard it enough.

"I miss you, Dean," Seth sounded small and defeated, understandably. "I really miss you. You know how cold a bed gets when someone else isn't in it?" _Yes_. "I need you, Dean. I don't care if I sound desperate, or whatever, I just need you. And I need you to _know_ that I need you. And miss you. I also really wanna suck you off, but who cares."

Dean couldn't stop the light laugh that escaped his lips as he laid back on his bed. As quick as the smile appeared, it was gone, his lips now set in a tight line. Seth wanted him back. And, yeah, the kid sounded desperate. Dean should be proud of that. Had it been under different circumstances, Dean _would_ be damn proud of that. But instead, he's contemplating hanging up the phone. He wasn't sure if he could continue listening to Seth going on about wanting him back. Whether he liked it or not, Dean felt the same way Seth felt about him. He needed to have Seth in his arms again. He didn't like the feeling of a cold, empty bed anymore. He didn't like not getting off at least once every night. Long story short, he didn't like being lonely. Dean, even though he'd spent most of his life that way, hated being alone. He just wasn't sure if he was ready to give himself up to Seth after what he'd done.

"Dean? You there?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm here," Dean mutters, scratching the top of his head. "Seth, look, I know how you feel, alright? Because I feel the exact same way. You know that I love you, but I don't feel that same amount of trust that I used to."

"I know, and I'm sorry-"

"No," Dean snaps, sitting back up. "You fucking betrayed me. You went behind my back. No amount of 'sorry's' or 'I love you's' are gonna fix this. Do I still love you, though? Hell yeah. I just don't trust you," Dean sighed as he realized how loud he was speaking. "You need to stop trying to fix my love for you, and start fixing my trust."

Seth was silent again, but Dean knew he wasn't gonna laugh this time. "Alright," Seth finally broke the uncomfortable silence that had washed over that two. "I can still say I love you, though, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then I love you."

"Yeah, yeah, I love you too."

Dean could practically _hear_ the smile on Seth's face.

* * *

Once again, Dean and Roman arrived at the arena, and were informed that they were sharing a locker room. This time, though, Roman didn't go running off to Hunter. _Trouble in paradise_, Dean mused. Neither man really acknowledged Roman's lack of absence, though. They just walked to their locker room, just talking about whatever; mainly Dean and Seth's phone call. Roman was all too proud of Dean, a big, happy smile breaking out on his face when Dean told him about the conversation (well, the important parts). As they walked into their room, Dean wasn't entirely taken by surprise when he was kissed with enough passion to make him dizzy. His arms instantly clasped around Seth's waist, the smaller man's arms already clinging around Dean's neck. The kiss was a lot softer than the one Seth had given him the last time.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Roman groaned, apparently reminding the two other men in the room that he was still there. They pulled apart, Seth's face flushed, but still smiling, and Dean looked unaffected. "Look, I'm all for you two getting back together, but can you _please_ do it when I'm not in the room?"

"Whoops," Seth chuckled and looked over to Dean. "I thought y'all had separate rooms? He wasn't here last time."

"He was 'with his cousins,' apparently," Dean answered, looking over to Roman. Roman just flicked him off. "Don't you have a boss to bang?" He watched as Roman seemed to tense up, and felt Seth pinching his arm.

"Don't," Seth warned, his voice low. "Hey, Rome, I'm gonna steal your boy here, you alright with that?"

"Go ahead, just don't break him." Roman's tone was dismissive, just like the careless wave of his hand.

"I think we all know that _I'm_ the one doing the breaking," Dean called out as Seth dragged him from the locker room. "The fuck was that all about? Why'd you tell me to stop?" Dean asked, Seth yanking him down the hall to what Dean presumed was his locker room.

"Roman and Hunter aren't on the best of terms right now," Seth muttered, closing the door of the room once they were both inside. "Hunter said 'I love you,' and called it a mistake, Roman got pissed, and I'm pretty sure they split."

"Why'd he call it a mistake?"

"He'a afraid of getting attached," Seth said, going over and digging through one of his bags. "Still wants to stay faithful to Stephanie, doesn't wanna let Roman go. It's an asshole move if I've ever heard of one."

Dean just nodded and leaned back against the door. "So...why am I in here?"

"Because," Seth began, turning back around and facing Dean. "Roman's hurt and angry, and you just rubbed salt on an open wound."

"Basically, he would've slapped the shit out of me if I kept talking?"

"Bingo," Seth said. "Now, I already have plans to talk to Hunter, so we can drop this. Right now," He walked up to Dean, taking the older man's hands in his. "I wanna work on that trust thing."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Really? How are you gonna do that?"

"We're gonna spend time together, much like we are now, and I'm going to prove to you that I deserve another chance, _and_ your trust."

Dean didn't say a word, he let the small smile and squeeze of Seth's hands speak for him. If Seth was really willing to put in the effort to get Dean back, who was he to refuse? He was getting the chance to get Seth back, that's all that mattered.

* * *

i don't know why, but i absolutely HATE being late on updates. i don't even have a set day to update my stuff, but i still feel obligated to update in a week or less. i've been super busy, and i've had a serious case of writers block, but at least there's a chapter! reviews are welcomed with open arms!


	9. Maybe

Dean loves Seth. Like, painfully so. But when he started to practically kidnap him almost every time he saw him, Dean had to draw a line. Seth wasn't fucking around when he said that they were going to spend time together until Dean felt the same way about him again. Apparently, though, the time they spent together was decided by Seth. No agreements, no planning, just dragging Dean by the arm until they got somewhere private. As frustrating as it often was, it was certainly a way to re-establish the trust in Dean; he could always trust that Seth would take him hostage at very event.

On multiple occasions, Dean had tried to discuss it with Seth (read: _threatened him every time he did it_). The two-toned man never budged. Dean couldn't help but feel strangely special, though. Seth could be doing anything else, but he chose to spend most of his free time with Dean. He never admitted it, though. Dean would never hear the end of it.

Dean leaned against the wall right next to the door of his locker room, and, what a surprise, there was Seth. He walked up, grabbed Dean's outstretched arm, and lead him to his locker room. Dean closed the door, as if on instinct, and turned around to face Seth. He pressed his lips softly against Dean's for a second before turning around and going to his bag. He dug through it for a few moments, and finally pulled out something that looked too much like a vest for Dean to be comfortable.

"What's that?"

"A vest."

"Who's?"

"Yours."

Dean nodded slowly, his brows furrowed. So _that's_ where his original vest went. He always assumed he left it at a hotel or an arena, but the thought of Seth taking it never crossed his mind, strangely enough. Now that he thought of it, Seth taking the vest wasn't too far fetched - _no shit, he was holding the damn thing_. Seth had a sheepish sort of expression on his face, as if he was embarrassed to have what felt like an ancient artifact to Dean. And Dean, he wasn't sure how to feel. Seth had been holding onto something of his since...August, right? Sounded right to Dean. Either way, that hadn't bothered getting rid of something of Dean's for an entire year.

"I'm really sorry, I kinda took it," Seth said quietly, the vest being held tight in one hand. "Well, actually, I got it on accident. Just kinda grabbed it, I guess. I realized it was yours after I went home and unpacked."

"And you never thought to give it back?" Dean asked. "I mean, I don't want it, but why'd you keep it?"

"Whenever I tried to borrow-"

"Steal."

"Whatever," Seth chuckled. "Anyways, you never let me have a shirt. You didn't seem to miss this too much, and you looked fucking _exceptional_ in just the shirt, let me tell you-"

"Seth, get to the point." Dean sighed and dropped down onto one of the benches in the room, looking up at Seth tiredly. He suddenly felt exausted, or maybe it was just that random weight that had decided to drop onto his shoulders.

"I wanted something after we split. Every time I wanted to give it back to you when we were together, I'd get distracted," Seth looked down at his feet, as if he was afraid to look at Dean. "And then we weren't together, and I needed you to be with me, but I didn't have you, so I kept this because it was almost like having you with me," Seth tossed the vest to Dean, the item landing at Dean's feet. "But now I have you, so I don't need it."

Dean bit the inside of his cheek, his eyes glued to the vest on the floor. His feet kicked idly at the black garment, his thoughts running rampant in his head. So Seth kept something of his, big deal. Except, it _was_ a big deal. No, it's was a fucking _giant_ deal. Seth wanted something of his. Someone, Seth, cared enough about him to keep something of his as keepsake of sorts.

As far as Dean knew, Seth wasn't a sentimental person. He liked to live in the moment, and not worry about what the past held or what the future had in store. Just the fact that Seth hadn't left the damn thing at his hotel room door with a note that said, "_Love ya_," (wouldn't be the first time; Seth took a pair of sweatpants from Dean once) had Dean puzzled.

"Thanks, I guess," Dean said, leaning down and picking up the vest. "You know, if it really means that much to you..."

"No, no, I told you, I have you now," Seth smiles softly and sits down next to Dean. "It may not be the exact way I want you, but at least you're here with me."

This time, it was Dean who smiled. He placed a hand on Seth's jean-clad knee, the other man's face brightening slightly. He leaned onece and pressed a soft kiss to Seth's temple. Seth's head fell onto Dean's shoulder while Dean's arm slipped around Seth's waist. And they sat. They didn't speak. They just sat with each other, letting the comfortable silence and unspoken promises hang between them.

* * *

Roman wasnt much of a smiler. Yeah, he smiled like every other human in the world, but he didn't do it much. He was stoic 85% of the time, and it pissed Dean off beyond compare that he couldn't tell what Roman was feeling. Dean usually prided himself on being able to see right through people and know what they're feeling, but Roman, man, he was fucking difficult. And stubborn. And hated being the center of attention. Basically, he was a generous asshole and Dean couldn't stand it.

Seth said that Hunter and Roman's thing had ended. Having that in mind, and the way Roman had acted when the two were together, this type of behavior was almost a polar opposite. Roman was always strangely happy, blissful almost, and he was always concerned with how Dean and Seth were doing. Since that one run-in in the locker room, Roman hadn't asked about Seth and Dean.

Maybe he just assumed they were alright. Maybe the only reason Roman was currently gripping the steering wheel with a white-knuckle grip and looking at the road ahead with the most unreadable expression Dean had ever seen was because he didn't have anything to worry about. He wasn't concerned with helping Seth and Dean anymore.

Or his thing with Hunter had hit him hard.

Dean didn't know how to start a conversation with Roman. He didn't look like he wanted to talk. But he was going to anyways. "You alright?"

"Fine."

"You aren't."

"I am."

"Fucking hell Roman," Dean exclaimed, hitting the dashboard. "You aren't fucking 'fine,' alright? I know better than that. You aren't okay, I can tell, why don't you just tell me?"

"Why the fuck do you need to know? Just because I have some relationship problems doesn't mean the world's gonna end, Dean," Roman says calmly, his eyes glued to the road. "You and Seth are on great terms, no need to worry about me."

Fuck Roman and his fucking selflessness and his great character and god _dammit_. Dean wanted to slap him but he also wanted to hug the guy - and Dean never felt the urge to hug Roman. He was so hard to work with when it came to talking about him, but he was so great for being so selfless.

"Look, if this is because of what happened with Hunter-"

"Don't mention Hunter," Roman snapped, saying each word as if it was a sentence itself. "Please."

Dean nodded and sank back into his seat, pulling his phone out of his jacket pocket, unlocking it, and sending a quick text to Seth.

_**big man isn't doing too well.**_

It was barely a minute later, and Seth had already responded. Antonio must've been driving.

_**dont make him talk, dumbass**_

Dean nodded, but he realized that he was texting Seth. He sent a quick "_okay_," and didn't send anything else. The air in the car was suddenly filled with tension that could be cut with a knife. Dean could see out of the corner of his eye that Roman's position hadn't changed; face expressionless, back so straight it made Dean feel uncomfortable, and his tan hands as white as Paige.

It was almost scary to see Roman in such a state. Dean knew he shouldn't poke a sleeping bear (because that's exactly what Roman was), but since when did he make good decisions? There's no fun in that. All the fun is in the rush, the realization of what you've done. Dean was gonna get that out of Roman. He was gonna get punched in the face by his best friend, get his boyfriend back, and things would be great.

Maybe.

* * *

hurrah for late updates! i've been incredibly busy, and i got sick to the point where i actually passed out, but i'm alright now! reviews are welcomed with open arms!


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